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You saw how the Newlyweds ended, didn’t you? No matter how cute Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson looked together, it still wasn’t enough to keep the marriage from falling apart. That lesson should therefore stick on all your minds – the idea of being able to spend time with each other 23/7 may be terribly attractive at the start but that’s not enough to build a foundation for marriage.
If your sole reasons for proceeding with marriage are your lack of time together – you’re still in college, studying for the board exams and he’s busy working his way up the career ladder – I’m afraid that those aren’t enough to ensure that your marriage isn’t doomed to failure, just like many others.
There has to be more behind your desire for marriage. Both of you must genuinely feel that you’ve reached that point in life when it’s time to grow and both of you want to grow with each other.
Now, if you feel you’ve all the love, trust and faith you need to make a marriage work then get ready for the next set of obstacles – adjusting to the reality of living with someone else. Even if you’ve already been living together for some time, you’ll both realize that things would still become different when you’re married.
For one, the commitments you and your have are about to get messier than ever. If one of you commits to attending a social occasion, you’d like to make an impression of togetherness on your family so you’d insist that both of you attend the occasion. But what if one of you isn’t unavailable?
And so you’ll be having your first fight. To avoid such an incident from occurring, it’s essential that you don’t automatically assume your partner has the power to adjust his schedule around yours all the time. Before committing to anything in behalf of your partner, make sure that you consult your partner first. Remember, in a marriage, both of you are in equal footing – no one is higher or inferior to the other.
During the first few months of marriage, it’s also imperative to give yourselves time to adjust with the newness of the situation. One of you might like to sleep with the lights on while the other is only able to rest in complete darkness. In situations like these, it’s important that both partners are willing to compromise. Compromise is usually the only reason why most marriage survives so if you want yours to work, be prepared not to have your way all the time.
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